Oh hai.

pooteen

Say what?

Canadians are pretty cool. Canadians: They’re just like us……except they say “eh?” Awlaut.

So I’m in Markham where I’d say most of the people are fairly wealthy and incredibly proud of being a Canook. The utter ridiculousness of the real time of this place is well…….ridiculous. I’m sitting at this sidewalk cafe and we’ve got cottonwood tree floaties hanging out in the air and rich old men with beautiful women hooked into their mainframe….errr….I mean arm. Teenage girls are asking me about my “tattie” (tattoo) while they purchase $200 t-shirts that I could buy at TJ Max for $12. Thanks Mom for the Thrift Town excursions! It’s all very similar to say………..the O.C. I’m OK with it……..as long as I have my wine.

But, rly. Let me tell you about the cab company that apparently has a monopoly in these here parts. All of my annoyance with these people stems from Walid, the Frenchman. Well, actually he’s Lebonese, but he lived in Montreal for awhile. How do I know all of this? Because he has made it a point to be the one to pick me up every time I need a cab even though I do NOT request him. He is your typical Frenchman. Opened button up shirt, gold necklace, a le French stare that says, “I would like to seduce you in my awesome cab.” He tells me that the sky is beautiful because a beautiful girl like me is looking at it. It was nice the first time. Not the 8th. So today, he basically re-routed our trip back to my hotel and took me to the WINE STORE. I mean, bestill my heart, but really………all I wanted you to do was take me back to my stupid hotel. I did not ask to go to the wine store, even though it beckoned to me in my sleep last night. *Shutter*. I was pretty creeped out. I didn’t call another cab to go to dinner b/c I was apprehensive so I walked a couple miles instead. Probably better anyhow.

Man, I haven’t blagged in so long……I have so much to say!